Reading (For Dummies)

Things I Hate About Syracuse

Cruising the personals tonight, I decided to do a little experimentation with my profile.

When I set it up to actually reflect me, I get just two returns on "Get Matched" -- a self-proclaimed transsexual goth (the jury is out over whether this person has a member), and a, pardon my rudeness, "fat chick." Yeah, at 5'1" and 255 pounds, you definitely earn the label. That's like, taking a normal short chick, and having her eat Annie.

The first thing I changed on my profile was to take away "Agnostic" as religion and change it to "Protestant." Suddenly, my matches shot up to 70.

Next, I checked the "Interested in Play-Only" box. Now, my matches were up to 130.

Next, I said I was "Maybe" interested in having children. Over 200 now.

Bearing in mind that these changes to my profile were cumulative (ie I did not backout previous changes), this says some very interesting things about Central New York women. It also provides me with plenty of reason not to date them. (1) They are Christian, (2) they enjoy casual sex, and (3) they want kids. These things are ingredients for social disaster.