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Apple Tech Support: A Transcript

Apple used to have really good tech support. A few years ago (the last time I had to use Apple's support), my iBook battery had gone finnicky. They didn't even ask a question, they just sent me a new battery with a box to return the old one. My how things have changed...

Laura's Macbook has joined the ranks of the Crackbooks when the palm rest began splitting open. Apple told her that it was due to abuse (it isn't) and that they would charge to replace the top cover. She refused, wisely. I think it is in Apple's best interest to fix affected laptops. These case cracks could easily cause a user to cut their wrists on the sharp plastic splinters, and they quite obviously begin forming where the screen bezel touches the palm rest (so pretty much every time a user closes his/her macbook, they are causing the problem) -- it is quite obviously a design and engineering flaw.

I decided to give Apple a call and played a hardball.

AC: Applecare customer support, this is Chris, can I have your name?

Me: Hi. Chris, is it? Okay. My name is Reid Wightman.

AC: Okay, can I have the serial number of the Macbook?

Me: Sure. XXXXXXX.

AC: Okay, what seems to be the problem today?

Me: First off, Chris, I am required by the state of Washington to inform you that I am recording this phone call. Is that okay with you?

AC: Uh..uh..we can't have that. It is against Apple's policies to record tech support calls.

Me: Well, could I speak to someone with whom I can record this call?

AC: You won't be able to get service if you record, sir. I could bump you to second tier support to see what they say.

Me: Okay then, I am turning my recorder off. There. I am calling because my fiance's MacBook has the case cracking in the palm rest area.

AC: Yes, I see the phone call recorded here. She called on October 5th. We said that she could take it to an Apple Store for assessment

Me: Right, but she was told that it would not be covered under warranty. This is quite obviously a design flaw, as there are hundreds of people having the same issue on Apple's message boards. There's even a Flickr photo group of about a hundred people who have this problem.

AC: I see.

Me: Look, the nearest Apple store is a five or six hour drive from here. We'd like to have a box sent here, and we'd like this repair to be covered under warranty.

AC: Okay, I can send a box out. I just want to be sure that it hasn't been dropped, or smashed, or otherwise mishandled--

Me: I can assure you that it has not.

AC: Okay, because if it has, it will not be covered under warranty--

Me: I can assure you that it has not.

The phone call pretty much felt like pulling teeth, as short as it was. Not a good vibe, although I sorta did that on purpose. Laura had spent the better part of an hour trying to get them to fix her laptop. Fortunately playing hardball still works, but it shouldn't be necessary.

Here's hoping that Apple does a voluntary recall before some lawsuit makes the headlines.