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December 19, 2007

Brawndo...What plants crave?

Like a lot of folks lately, I discovered that Brawndo actually exists! Brawndo, for those not in the know, was one of the plot points of Idiocracy, another of Mike Judge's cult hits (yes, that Mike Judge). The movie depicts a dystopian future in which the average IQ has gone to retarded levels due to the stars of COPS (and no, I'm not referring to the police officers here) breeding out intelligent people.

One of the major plot points of the film is that Brawndo (a until-now fictitious gatorade-like sports drink) was touted to be, "What plants crave™," so that the Brawndo corporation could sell more of its electrolytic beverage. Each serving of Brawndo has 200mg of sodium, so even non-viewers may guess how well that worked out for America's food supply...

DSCN4551.JPG
A real science experiment...

Yes, I'm going to perform a science experiment. For the next three weeks (or until the tomato plants die, which might be soon, because I live at a very high latitude and we don't get much sunlight at this time of year) I will be feeding both tomato plants carefully measured amounts of water and Brawndo Thirst Mutilator beverage. I should note to the viewers at home that these are my girlfriend's tomato plants, that she is a Phd student in Molecular Plant Science, and that she has already expressed displeasure in this experiment (though, to be fair, she wanted to put both plants in the trash a week ago, I convinced her to keep them [mostly so I could perform this experiment (yes, honey, I still love you!)]).

I'm sure that there will be many of these types of experiments now that Brawndo is a reality. I like to think that I'm the first. I also have the most at stake. And look, I'm carefully measuring the amount of each liquid that I give to the plants with fancy science equipment (beakers!), so my experiment is certainly the most scientific. Also, I'm performing it as a double-blind study: neither plant is being told which form of liquid it is receiving. Stay tuned as we watch which tomato plant thrives, if any...

***UPDATE***

I'll be posting videos on Youtube (sans music, so they're boring at the moment), at this url.

Seconded! FOR SCIENCE!

Posted by: MK on December 19, 2007 10:48 PM

I think some time lapse photography is in order, replayed with a good sound clip from the movie!!

Posted by: Erik Wightman on December 20, 2007 12:13 AM

I call BS on your double blind study. Either plant, obviously, could just crane its neck down to see that it's labled.

Posted by: Bross on December 20, 2007 07:16 AM

"a double-blind study: neither plant is being told which form of liquid it is receiving"

AWESOME!

Posted by: neeekeee on December 20, 2007 07:45 AM

I don't get it, which plant did you put water on?

Posted by: Criddle on December 20, 2007 01:13 PM

I see the plant on the right is leaning towards the Brawndo can ... see ? That's what plants crave !

Posted by: GiomBee on December 20, 2007 01:42 PM

hm, ...well, don't want to sound like a dick or nothin', but, ah... it says on your chart that you're fucked up. Ah, you talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded. What I'd do, is just like... like... you know, like, you know what I mean, like...

Posted by: theman on December 20, 2007 03:29 PM

Brawndo's looking a little pale already...

Posted by: Dan on December 20, 2007 07:05 PM

What are you using science for, you some kind of fag? We all know Brawndo's got what plants crave, it's got electrolytes!

Posted by: Jared on December 21, 2007 04:53 AM

Please confirm or deny if the water is from the toilet.

Posted by: Dan Dickinson on December 21, 2007 05:39 PM

You are awesome! I am sure the Brawndo will do great because it's got what plants crave... it's got electrolights

Posted by: on December 25, 2007 12:02 PM

THE PLANT WANTS BRAWNDO SO IT CAN CRUSH A HUMAN SKULL WITH IT'S BARE....HANDS!


"I don't think now is a good time for handjobs"

Posted by: Banana cream pie on January 1, 2008 01:20 PM

what you a fag or something using that smart talk, Brawndo is what plants crave, why would they want water from the toilet

Posted by: matt on January 1, 2008 01:45 PM

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